News Archive - 1998 Mongrel Masters

New Sponsor Has Organisors Waxing Lyrical

The Board of the Mongrel Masters are delighted to announce the signing of a sponsorship agreement with NATO.

NATO are the world’s leading supplier of snake oil products and love lubricants.

Mongrel Tour playboy and love making legend, Ramrod Ramsey, is ecstatic about the one figure sponsorship deal and the product.

"The girl’s have started to call me Nuclear-rod now. I smear lashings of NATO’s ‘Long Lasting Lust Lotion’ between my loins and let the guided missile take over. I haven’t missed a target since I started using the gel. Having NATO on board is great for the Tour and great for my performance. Thanks NATO!"

Johno Johnson, who has always thought through the one eye serpent, likes NATO’s trouser snake oil product called "Taipan" He claims that since he started using Taipan his memory has improved remarkably.

"I used to only have a memory for faces. Ever since I started smearing Taipan on my trouser snake I have been able to put a name to all those heads. It’s just incredible!"

The King Bonser, an avid user of lubricants, has also signed an individual endorsement agreement with NATO.

"Lets face it, I always slip, slop, when I slap and tickle. NATO’s ‘Long Lasting Lust Lotion’ is the best product of it’s type on the market. Forget Viagra! Lob a dob of this stuff on your flute and you can play a tune all night and all day" says the King.

The King doesn’t just believe in the company, he is now part of the company and is used by NATO as a motivation speaker at their weekly staff initiation ceremonies. Here he speaks about what life was like before NATO entered his life and how his life has changed for the better!

The King’s fanaticism for NATO has not gone unnoticed by some of his peers on the Mongrel Tour, where he is seen as a born again evangelist for the company.

"A fucking freak" is how Buddha Yeates describes the King. "He rang me up and asked me whether I wanted to be a door to door salesman selling NATO’s "Scent of Camel" after shave. He guaranteed that I would earn more in one day pedaling that shit , than I would on the Mongrel Tour. He is probably right, however, I felt like I was talking to some Mormon or born again freak not the King!"

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Board member King Bonser negotiated new sponsorship deal

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