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New
Sponsor Has Organisors Waxing Lyrical
The Board
of the Mongrel Masters are delighted to announce the signing of a
sponsorship agreement with NATO.
NATO are
the world’s leading supplier of snake oil products and love
lubricants.
Mongrel
Tour playboy and love making legend, Ramrod Ramsey, is ecstatic about
the one figure sponsorship deal and the product.
"The
girl’s have started to call me Nuclear-rod now. I smear lashings of
NATO’s ‘Long Lasting Lust Lotion’ between my loins and let the
guided missile take over. I haven’t missed a target since I started
using the gel. Having NATO on board is great for the Tour and great
for my performance. Thanks NATO!"
Johno
Johnson, who has always thought through the one eye serpent, likes
NATO’s trouser snake oil product called "Taipan" He claims
that since he started using Taipan his memory has improved remarkably.
"I
used to only have a memory for faces. Ever since I started smearing
Taipan on my trouser snake I have been able to put a name to all those
heads. It’s just incredible!"
The King
Bonser, an avid user of lubricants, has also signed an individual
endorsement agreement with NATO.
"Lets
face it, I always slip, slop, when I slap and tickle. NATO’s ‘Long
Lasting Lust Lotion’ is the best product of it’s type on the
market. Forget Viagra! Lob a dob of this stuff on your flute and you
can play a tune all night and all day" says the King.
The King
doesn’t just believe in the company, he is now part of the company
and is used by NATO as a motivation speaker at their weekly staff initiation
ceremonies. Here he speaks about what life was like before NATO
entered his life and how his life has changed for the better!
The
King’s fanaticism for NATO has not gone unnoticed by some of his
peers on the Mongrel Tour, where he is seen as a born again evangelist
for the company.
"A
fucking freak" is how Buddha Yeates describes the King. "He
rang me up and asked me whether I wanted to be a door to door salesman
selling NATO’s "Scent of Camel" after shave. He guaranteed
that I would earn more in one day pedaling that shit , than I would on
the Mongrel Tour. He is probably right, however, I felt like I was
talking to some Mormon or born again freak not the King!"
Click
here for 1998 Results
Click here for the 1998 Mongrel Masters in Photographs
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