Harold "nobbled" at Sledge Ball

1995 Champion, Harold P Ouvrier, is crying foul after he was seduced by a "Mater Hari" at the 1996 Sledge Ball. Harold firmly believes that he was the subject of a scurrilous plot to ruin his chances of victory at the 1996 Mongrel Masters. He has pointed his accusing finger at the Snidely Whiplash of the Tour, Noni Scanlon.

The incident was exposed by Chad G Todd when he went to awake the defending Champion in readiness for the event. Much to Chad’s surprise he discovered two silhouettes of naked bodies with someone appearing to have bitten off more than they could chew!

Embarrassed by his finding and coming to the bizarre conclusion that the two participants were Ramrod and Spuddy, Chad brought up Executive Chairman, Noni Scanlon, to institute coitus interuptus.

On closer inspection it became apparent that it was in fact Harold P Ouvrier and a lady guest at the Sledge Ball that were indulging in pre tournament putting practice.

Without missing a beat Harold quickly bad his new found stroke coach fare well, dressed himself and left with the other contestants in the flotilla of cars for the golf course.

It was not until after his disappointing performance on the course that Harold made any utterances of foul play.

" There is no doubt that I was the subject of a Mater Hari plot to stop me winning this years Masters." said Harold P. at the post tournament press conference when asked about his late night dalliance

"There is only one person who would contrive such a low under handed scheme and that is the bloke you guys are lauding as this years Champion, Noni Scanlon." accused Ouvrier.

Harold’s accusations were taken seriously and investigated by The Mongrel Masters Ethics and Sledging Committee. However with all the evidence being swallowed they could not substantiate his claim.

Meanwhile, the debate of pre-tournament sexual intercourse and its effects on performance has reignited in direct response to Harold’s disappointing result in the 1996 Mongrel Masters.

The Mongrel Masters Board has instituted a study on the issue. Former Director of the television show "Sex", Spuddy Cruddy Murphy, will be conducting the study and will present his findings in time for the 1998 Mongrel Masters Media Guide. What could delay his study is the fact that only four members of the current Tour are single. So the chances of finding those that are active prior to the Masters is minimal.

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