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Tour
to Expand Rumours
Mongrel Open
Championship to be staged!
Due to the incredible success of' the 1994 Mongrel Masters
and the nationwide media coverage, the Mongrel Tour has
been inundated by sponsors wanting to align themselves
with the Tour. The golfing public is crying out for the
opportunity to see more of the "world's worst golfers" and
astute corporations are keen to capitalise on this.
To meet this
demand the Mongrel Tour Executive Director, Noni Scanlon,
has just announced that the Mongrel Open Championship will
be held on 9 September 1995. The venue has yet to be
confirmed, but it is believed the two major contenders are
The Riverside Oaks, Cattai and Craigieburn Resort, Bowral
"I am so
excited with this concept,” said Scanlon at the media
launch for the tournament. "The Mongrel Masters has
developed a personality all of its own, and I can't see
why the Mongrel Open Championship would not as well."
When asked how the Open Championship would differ from the
Masters, Scanlon responded. "Well the philosophies of
Mongrel Golf will remain, namely the sledging and the
drinking. But unlike the Masters it will not be an
individual stroke event. The Open Championship will be an
ambrose stroke event, and there is an element of luck on
who will be paired with whom, as names are drawn out of
the hat just prior to tee off."
"The other variation in format from the Masters is the
dress code. All competitors in the Mongrel Open
Championship will be required to wear a skirt. That way if
they're not having a good time out on the course they can
look up each others skirt" Noni Scanlon
It is believed that the wearing of the skirts is an
attempt by the Mongrel Tour to placate complaints from
feminist extremists that the Mongrel Masters is sexist and
elitist. "It simply clears up the misunderstanding that we
don't allow women to compete on the Tour. All of the
competitors play like old women so now they can at least
look like them." said sensitive new age guy spokesperson
for the Mongrel Tour Chad Todd.
So from the
mother of all golf tournaments, The Mongrel Masters, is
born the Mongrel Open Championship. With such a pedigree
it is destined to be a child prodigy.
Click here for
1995 Results
Click here
for the 1995 Mongrel Masters in Photographs
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