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King
Loses the Plot
The King Bonser has reached an all time low in not only
his golfing career, but also in his life.
Things started
going bad for him just after he started playing golf with
his wife, Karen ,and was consistently being beaten by
her.Then having slumped to equal eleventh position in the
'93 Mongrel Masters, behind his greatest rival Chad G Todd
to record his worst performance, he has shown signs of
personal decay.
An open letter
sent to the Editor of the Mongrel Masters Media Guide
(shown below) depicts the state of his mind and how deeply
he has been.
"Last year in
the Mongrel Masters, Chad G Todd achieved the unbelievable
and actually finished ahead of more than one competitor in
the elite field of contenders. I believe that Chad is the
type of player that we all detest because of his ability
to sledge like no other and his very poor sense of
fashion. Combine this with his placing last year and his
dogged determination to get the Tweed on his shoulders
reaffirms the name by which he is better known in golfing
circles throughout the Northern Beaches and in the Gong -
'The Bastard" I believe he is unacceptable as a founding
member and I ask that he be relegated to looking after the
Leader Board rather than allowing him to move any higher
on the Order of Merit. Other members may feel that this is
far too harsh a penalty for such a character, but you have
to ask yourself the question:
Could you
handle being beaten by Chad and still look at yourself in
the mirror?
Signed King
Bonser"
King Bonser is
obviously scarred by his decline in the Mongrel Masters
Order of Merit and by his defeat by Chad last year. By
turning publicly against a founding member and suggesting
that Chad not be allowed to compete in this years Masters
typifies the pitiful state of his current mental health.
It is believed that every morning when he shaves in front
of the mirror that he sees the image of Chad and not of
himself. What a horrible sight that must be, and what a
terrible affliction?
What should
fellow mongrels do for this poor chap? Should we pity him?
Should we humour him? No like true mongrels we should kick
him in the guts, dismiss his request and place him in the
same group as Chad at this years Mongrel Masters
Click here for
1995 Results
Click here
for the 1995 Mongrel Masters in Photographs
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