Red Colby likes to eat and if you invite him round for
dinner he will most likely be up for seconds.
Having finished second in the past six
consecutive Mongrel Masters, Red is keen to taste victory at
Mongrel Masters XVIII. We speak to the number one ranked
mongrel to see just how hungry he is.
MMW: Red how
hungry are you for a victory at Mongrel Masters XVIII?
RC:
Well as they say a hungry belly has no ears and a hungry
man is an angry man.
MMW: What do you mean by this?
RC: I
don’t know, but I thought given that you open up the
questioning with a metaphor I would try to look just as
intelligent by answering with a couple of proverbs related
to the metaphor.
MMW: Ah ok. No more questions with metaphors then?
RC:
No. Thanks.
MMW: So let’s see then. Ok.
What is it like to come up the rear of the winner for
the past six Mongrel Masters?
RC:
Mate I
don’t care where I come just as long as I come. It just so
happens that for the past six years I haven’t been able to
come on top. It hasn’t worried me as I actually quite enjoy
coming from behind.
MMW: Perhaps
I should rephrase the question. Are you sick of coming
second?
RC:
I
suppose it’s a similar answer to what I said before, except
I don’t care when I come, just as long as I come.
MMW: Once
again that wasn’t quite what I was asking.
RC:
What
were you asking then?
MMW: Sorry
but I am the interviewer. So I ask the questions
RC:
Ok.
Sorry, but what was the question?
MMW: Once
again I am the interviewer. I ask the questions.
You are the
interviewee. You answer the questions
RC:
Ok. Ok.
MMW: It has
been eight years now since your one and only Mongrel Masters
victory do you think you will ever win the title again?
RC:
Yes
certainly. When there is only one person in the tournament
and I have no possibility of coming second. But as I said
before I don’t care where or when I come, just as long as I
come.
MMW: So it
sounds to me that you don’t mind being a loser?
RC:
Losing
is poison to some men, great men have become mediocre
because of the inability to accept and abide by a defeat. I
am not saying that I am a great man, but I am a better man
for the losses. If you cannot accept a loss you cannot win.
Every player when they tee up at the Mongrel Masters plays
at a great risk, the risk of losing.
MWW: That
was a wonderful conglomerate of clichés. But what it doesn’t
explain is why four out of the six times you have finished
second you were either leading or one shot from the lead.
Rather than seizing the opportunity to win you shot two
bogies, one double bogie and one triple bogie and lost.
Would you not say that you have had to accept losing because
you are a chronic choker?
RC:
Probably.
MWW: Surely you must be seeking help?
RC: Yes, I am going to Quit Choking
forums with other people who choke. I also have started to
wear a patch when I am out on the course which is supposed
to prevent the compulsion to choke. The All Blacks
experimented with these at Rugby World Cup 2007 but it
didn't do them much good. So I will have to see what affect
it has on me.
MWW: Well I am sure I speak on behalf of all your fans, that
we hope that you can stop choking and once again don the
blue tweed. Thanks for your time and all the very best at
Mongrel Masters XVIII
Red Colby Profile
